2005-06-15

Panic?

I'm starting to get a little anxious about moving back to San Diego. Back to my mom's, especially. I just realized that my flight is only two weeks from today. I've started packing, got boxes to mail some things. I haven't sent them off because it's been pouring rain; it wouldn't do to send them all soggy. Di's mom is going to bring some of my books for me, which is extremely nice. She's actually just arrived today. Apparently Canadian post doesn't have a book rate, at least not to the US, and I don't think even within Canada. I expect I'll probably spend like $100-150 to mail four good-sized boxes, which isn't so bad. If I do it within the next two days, the stuff will get there before I do. Two of the boxes are just shoes, which feels slightly irresponsible, because where the hell did I get the money for that many shoes in the first place?

I haven't been working these past two days. I guess I've been trying to get shit together. I still need to figure things out, like how to get the damn thing bound properly when I'm not in town. I told Paddy I wasn't panicking yet, but that was a week ago. So I guess now I am. Really it isn't the end of the world if I need to work on my thesis a bit longer at my moms than I had hoped. Like I told him, even if I think of the worst case scenario, it isn't so bad. Besides, worst case scenarios aren't even all that likely. I actually sound like I'm trying to convince myself.

That's another thing. I rearranged my email the other day according to name so that I could find a friend's phone number for Di. I then realized that since we started talking to one another again Paddy's sent me over a dozen emails. It was kind of surprising to see so many. Which also means that I have sent a similar number to him. I know we're, like, "friends" now, but still, that seems like a lot of email. At least seeing it all lined up like that it did. Really it only works out that I get one or two per month from him, and I really do enjoy emailing him. Perhaps I'm being neurotic, but I'm not so sure how I feel about it. There was a good reason I didn't want to be his friend again. Whatever, we still will be living in separate cities, it's a big state, and I don't really have any plans to see him. So there.

xanthium at 4:08 p.m.

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