2006-03-09

too much information about new developments in my life.

There are only a few new developments in my life.
1. I am going to move in with my mother's best friend who lives in watsonville.
2. I think this will be a good way to get out of my current rut.
3. I may use the money I will get from the government for taking care of my handicapped brother to buy a new (to me) car so that I will not have to indefinitely "borrow" my mother's, because it makes me feel like a bum.
4. My chest keeps getting bigger. I have gone up at least a full cup size since summer and I have never, ever, been busty.

I'm going to expand upon this last one, because this has been bugging me. Until extremely recently, I have always been barely a b, and now, in a season of unprecedented growth, my new c cups overfloweth. This is wierd. I didn't get any at all until I was 16, and to tell the truth, they pretty much stayed the same until 24. That's a good 8 years to get used to them being the same. Now at 25, suddenly, I have new stretch marks. All this change is making me feel pubescent, which, as we all know, is a terrible thing.
It's even funnier because since I was 16 and flat as a board, I always wished that they were bigger, but since my 20s I have been happy with the way they were. Sure, sometimes I'd complain, but I was happy enough. I'd grown comfortable with my body. (I have to admit, frequenting Italian topless beaches at 21 did wonders for my self-image). I've been able to wear tops without a bra and not have to worry. I still can, but now I know with the extra weight, that will be over soon enough. Now they have changed on me, and its weird, different, uncomfortable, you know, pubescent. I'm too old for this shit, especially since it isn't like I have done anything different to bring it upon myself, like getting pregnant.

xanthium at 1:48 p.m.

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