2006-09-14

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I'm sitting at the reception desk of yet another tech/engineering/who-cares company and feeling like Peggy Lee was right. Is this all there is? Because if it is, my friends, then we should all keep dancing.

I went on a trip last week and saw an old friend of mine from college. Actually an old roommate, who always was a very practical, sensible sort of person that appreciates domestic life. She's in library school and has a part time research job in her intended field. I saw her nice apartment in a nice part of town, her nice friends and her job that she enjoys and will turn into an enjoyable career, and realized that I am nowhere close to any of that, despite being only two years younger than her. Di reminded me that she had several jobs that she didn't like before, but still, I was totally jealous and now am feeling quite bad about myself.

Wasting my life answering the phone is hardly the future I envisioned for myself. I just got winked at by a sleazy saleman who works for a ducument shredding company. I am running out of money, yet barely manage to pay half what she does in rent. Oh, and my house doesn't even have an oven, a drier and the bathroom was obviously severely flooded at least once. Don't even get me started about the tamale man, or the guy who thinks he is auditioning for mexican idol every night in the apartment complex next door. I think for the past year I have been trying to convince myself that it all isn't so bad, especially since it is "temporary", but you know what? My life sucks and I hate it. Except for Paddy--which is kind of funny, since the reason I hated Montreal was because I felt like a failure at personal relationships, even though work was alright, while here it is the opposite. Bah. I guess you can't have everything, but there has to me more than this.

xanthium at 2:05 p.m.

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